Weiss Doesn't Understand Slang
by Mallobaude
Summary: What happens when Weiss Schnee doesn't understand the intricacies of slang, puns, and innuendos? All sorts of awkward and unusual situations. Written as an entry for RWBY Writing Prompt Wednesday #85.
1. Chapter 1

Ruby was beginning to get cabin fever as she spent yet another day in this house in the middle of Mistral. With the influx of new bodies there was even less room than there had been previously. Thankfully, however, there were only two people occupying the room in which her team bunked. She and Weiss were having a relaxing, boring day. It was exactly what they needed. With everyone still on high alert after the battle at Haven Academy, a little rest and relaxation would do them all some good.

The sound of the door squeaking open caused Ruby to glance up from the comic book gripped in her hands. It took a moment, but soon enough she saw a head of long blonde hair peek through. Lilac eyes slowly scanned the room until they settled on their target. Mischief danced in those eyes, and a sly grin spread across her face. Ruby was just happy that her sister's attention was not focused on her for a change.

She had no idea what was about to happen to Weiss, but she pitied her partner.

With smooth, innocent strides, Yang waltzed into the room before pushing the door closed behind her. A look over to Weiss showed that the girl did not care for the new arrival, and she continued with her own silent reading. That is, until the blonde girl took a seat next to her on the bed.

The former heiress looked up, her concentration obviously interrupted by the new presence next to her. "Yes?"

Yang folded her hands atop her lap, her natural fingers toying with the bionics ones on her right hand. "Hey, Weiss. You remember the time at Haven when Jaune covered you in his white stuff?"

Ruby sputtered out a cough. Had she been drinking milk at the time, she would have done a real life spit take. She had always wanted to do one of those. However, such regrets were lost to her at the sheer brazenness of her sister's question.

"I do," Weiss confirmed. "It's hard to forget something like that."

Oh my gods. Did Weiss even realize what she was saying? Or rather, what _Yang_ was saying? Obviously by the way the blonde girl was grinning, she knew exactly what she was implying. She knew exactly what she was making Weiss agree to.

Yang bit down on her lip for a moment in an attempt to suppress her smile before she continued. "So I was just wondering. How did it feel to have Jaune inside you?"

 _Aura!_ Ruby's mind screamed. _She's talking about his Aura!_ She truly hoped that Weiss did not catch on to what Yang was implying. If her partner knew what Yang was truly asking, the girl would be utterly mortified. To even suggest that Weiss would do those kinds of things with Jaune of all people would make her scream in horror.

"Considering it was his first time, Jaune's performance was quite impressive."

 _You're not helping, Weiss!_ Ruby could only shake her head, hoping that Yang had had her fun and that it would be over now. Obviously Ruby wasn't the only one suffering from boredom here in this house. If this was how her sister had decided to pass the time, then it would be a long few days until Uncle Qrow could secure transportation to Atlas.

"He really filled you up with his white stuff, didn't he?"

Oh gods. It wasn't over.

"He did. I must admit that I was surprised to see how much of it he had. Is it normal for a person to have so much?"

 _Aura!_ the younger girl's mind raged again. _For the love of everything, please clarify that you're talking about Aura!_

"I'm not so sure, I can't say I have much experience in that department." Ruby saw how her sister had to look away from the other girl, the smile on her face threatening to erupt into full-blown laughter. After a deep breath and a slight nod of her head, Yang turned back. "So would you agree that Jaune has a lot of untapped potential?"

Finally. They were getting to something normal. Yang had had her fun, and they were talking about something with actual merit. Something that could aid them in their war against the forces of Salem.

"He does," Weiss agreed.

"You gonna tap that?"

Ruby coughed again. This time the sheer audacity of the question made her speak up in protest. "Yang!"

By the look of pure innocence which graced Weiss' face, it appeared that she was still not in on the joke. "Ruby, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Ruby," Yang echoed. "Are you okay?"

With a shake of her head, Ruby could only sigh and continue to allow this to happen. Ignorance was bliss, after all. "I'm fine."

"Great!" Yang exclaimed before turning her attention back to Weiss. "So? You wanna tap Jaune?"

"I suppose I probably should."

 _Weiss... why..._

"Every night, right?"

"Yes," she agreed with a stern nod. "I should tap him every night in order to gain the full potential he has to offer."

"Oh yeah, you'd like that. Wouldn't you?"

The grin on Yang's face should have been a dead giveaway. People often thought that Ruby herself was innocent and naive. Yang especially loved to think that about her sweet baby sister. But she wasn't a moron. She knew things too!

How was it possible that Weiss of all people had turned out to be the naive one?

"Yes. I would like very much to tap Jaune tonight."

Yang stood up, brushing her hands clean against each other as if to say that her job here was done. "Great! I hope you get on that as soon as possible. See ya around, Ice Queen!"

As quickly as she had arrived Yang had left. Like a tornado she had left a trail of destruction in her wake, but the only person who could see that devastation was Ruby.

Weiss remained unaffected by what had just taken place. Blissfully ignorant of the filth she had just been exposed to.

* * *

The arrival in Atlas was a welcome change of scenery for the former students of Beacon Academy. Blake had not been cooped up in Mistral for nearly as long as her friends and teammates, but knowing what she knew now, she was eager to move forward. There was so much to be done. With the Relic of Knowledge in their hands, Professor Ozpin had deemed it necessary to bring it to Atlas as soon as possible.

However, while he and Ruby and Yang's uncle were out at some important meeting with General Ironwood, it left the rest of them with precious little to do in the meantime. They could of course train. They had all been doing plenty of that. Other than that though, there wasn't a whole lot to do to occupy their time. And so it was that some people found new an annoying ways to entertain themselves in their downtime.

Speaking of training, Weiss had just finished getting dressed and slipped on a pair of heels. Attaching Myrtenaster to her hip, she moved toward the door, presumably ready to train some more.

"Going to see Jaune again?" the third person in the room asked.

Blake's eyes darted over to where Yang was lazily sprawled out on her bed, a scroll held up above her in a single hand. Her eyes hadn't even moved from whatever she was watching when she addressed the Schnee girl.

"I am," Weiss confirmed.

The two of them had been spending a lot of time together over the past few days. Perhaps the girl thought that she owed Jaune for saving her life back at Haven Academy. As a result they had spent a lot of time training, judging by how she often returned to their room sweaty and disheveled.

Yang's arm fell to the bed, and she regarded the girl with a predatory grin. "You like getting physical with him, don't you?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

 _Yes, you idiot_ , Blake thought with a roll of her eyes. This had been going on for days now. Yang absolutely loved to tease Weiss with all kinds of innuendos and puns that went straight over her head.

"No no, I think it's great," Yang smiled. "So you're gonna hit that, right?"

Weiss nodded. "Yes. That sounds like a lovely idea."

"You're gonna hit it hard."

"Very hard."

Yang's tongue darted out to lick her lips, and she couldn't stop the gleeful grin from curling on her lips. "He's gonna have trouble walking tomorrow morning, isn't he?"

"Oh yes. I'm going to hit him so hard that he won't be able to walk for a week."

Blake felt her own face beginning to warm in embarrassment. And this was coming from the person who had read the entire Ninjas of Love series multiple times. She wouldn't have believed any of this if she wasn't hearing it firsthand. Truth be told, Blake felt sorry for Weiss more than anything. Growing up spoiled and rich in Atlas, she didn't understand the subtext of what Yang was saying. The girl was simply too sheltered to know what kind of unspeakable things she was claiming to want to do to that boy.

Weiss' latest affirmation caused Yang to briefly lose control, and she brought a hand to her face to stifle the snort of laughter which had slipped through. "Yeah, you're gonna ride Jaune hard. Work him to the bone."

"Until he's breathless and exhausted."

Ugh... stop the pain. Please. Blake was half-tempted to just spill the beans to Weiss, but at the same time she didn't want things to get awkward between her and Jaune again. The two of them had a very amicable relationship now compared to how they were at Beacon. So much so that they were spending time with each other when it wasn't even compulsory. If Weiss found out that she had been saying how much she wanted to have sex with Jaune for days now... that might ruin everything. She might not be able to look the boy in the eye again.

"He needs to get whipped into shape, doesn't he?"

Icy-blue eyes seemed to light up. "Yes. He will be whipped indeed."

Judging by the excitement in her voice, maybe Weiss did still hold a bit of a grudge against the boy who had once tried to court her at Beacon Academy. Jaune was in for a long, hard night of training.

Blake shook her head to stop herself from going any further. Now she was starting to become corrupted when it came to those perfectly innocent words.

Yang almost broke down right then and there, but to her credit, managed to hold back her bursting laughter. "All that grinding's gonna be rough, isn't it?"

"He has no idea how rough I can be!" Weiss stated with an emphatic nod. Apparently she was taking their training regimen very seriously. "I'll have him begging for mercy by the time I'm done with him."

"'Cause you're such a thirsty girl, aren't you?"

"Of course. That kind of activity would make anyone thirsty."

"You're gonna squeeze every last drop out of him."

"Yang," Blake finally said, interrupting the latest line of questioning before Weiss could respond and make an even bigger fool of herself. "Come on."

"What?" the blonde asked innocently. "I'm only asking Weiss just what kind of exercises she's going to be putting Jaune through."

"Indeed," Weiss agreed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going."

Thankfully, mercifully, Weiss left. After shutting the door behind her, Blake let out a pained sigh before she glared over to her partner. "Yang..."

With her target gone, Yang finally let loose. Her boisterous laughter filled the room, and Blake wouldn't be surprised if everyone else in the building could hear her. The girl gripped her stomach with her hands as she rolled around on her bed in sheer bliss. She had gotten her entertainment for the night.

"Oh come on," Yang forced out in gasps as she struggled to speak and breathe through the laughter. She wiped tears from her eyes before looking back to her partner. "That was gold! How can you not say that was the funniest thing you've ever heard?"

"Was that really necessary?" At one point in her life Blake would have been all for the suffering of Schnees, but that time was behind her now. Weiss was not her father. She was a good person with a good heart. She was her teammate and her friend. "The poor girl didn't even know what she was agreeing to."

"I know!" Yang exclaimed. "Isn't it the best thing ever?"

"We really need to get you a hobby."

"Hush, kitty-cat," Yang grinned. "You know you love seeing little miss prim and proper say these sorts of scandalous things. I mean, with the kind of stuff you read-"

She never got a chance to finish her thought before receiving an airborne pillow to the face courtesy of her partner.

* * *

The cold Atlesian nights would take some getting used to. Even with the heating systems, Jaune liked to remain under the warm, safe covers of his bed whenever he had some downtime.

The sound of an automatic lock clicked, and Jaune looked over to the door. As he was expecting, Weiss stepped through before closing the door behind her.

"Sorry I'm late," she said before setting her rapier on a small table near the door. "Yang kept talking to me when I was leaving. Then I had to make a quick stop on my way here."

Talking to... Yang? Jaune's face paled in fear. He had heard stories about that before.

"What did she say?" he asked uneasily.

"Oh, the usual," Weiss mentioned casually before unzipping the back of her dress. "Yang's been surprisingly helpful these past few days. She seems very supportive of our relationship. Even what goes on behind closed doors."

Jaune swallowed hard. "Weiss... what did she say this time?"

Her dress hit the floor, leaving Weiss clad in nothing but white lace lingerie to barely cover up her pale, silky skin. In her hands she held a suspiciously familiar looking whip. She cracked it in the air, the sound making Jaune flinch. "I'm going to whip you into shape tonight, Arc," she smiled menacingly. "I'll have you begging for mercy."

Just what kind of a pervert was Yang to be putting these sorts of ideas into Weiss' head? And who knew that Weiss could be this... kinky? Jaune supposed it made a little bit of sense. Only a girl as repressed as she had been growing up could grow up with this hidden deviant side to her.

"You know, Yang seems kind of obsessed with our relationship," she continued as she crawled into bed with Jaune, slipping underneath the covers with him. "I think she must be living vicariously through me by asking about all the things we do in private."

Right now that line of thought wasn't the most concerning thing on his mind. Rather, he looked at the cruel and unusual whip that Weiss still held in her hands. "Where did you even get the whip?"

"Ilia."

He nodded softly. "Does she know what you plan to use it for?"

Weiss smiled. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"No... but it might kill me. Isn't that thing a weapon?"

"Oh calm down." She brushed a few fingers against his arm. "You have plenty of Aura, remember?"

While she wasn't wrong, those still weren't the most comforting of words to hear from his girlfriend.

Oh well. Beggars couldn't be choosers. He had finally won the affections of his crush. He wasn't about to start being picky now.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Just a short, dumb little story I was inspired to write. My thanks go out again to the Work in Progress and White Knight Discords for their encouragement.

I had this idea a few weeks ago, but was finally motivated to write it as an entry for the RWBY subreddit's Writing Prompt Wednesday #85: "Jaune and Weiss were always romantically involved. They think everyone knows that. Nobody does. *Nobody*". So... yeah. I think that meets the criteria.

Thanks for reading. I hope you liked another little piece of crack comedy. Would you like to see a chapter 2...?


	2. Chapter 2

It was like they had just traded one house for another. Who knew that traveling to an entirely different continent would have found them staying in another house and never venturing outside again? At least this time they had an excuse. Atlas was cold. They didn't have winter clothing. Especially Blake. She didn't even have her bow anymore to hide her ears. It probably didn't matter, however. Anyone who saw the girl flashing her midriff in the middle of an Atlesian winter would have been too distracted by her stupidity to even notice that she was a faunus.

Yang was bored, so she was wandering through the Atlas house looking for something fun to do. Or more specifically, someone fun. A certain heiress who she could tease mercilessly with her oh so clever puns and innuendos. That poor girl. Maybe Blake was right. Maybe she should let up on the ex-heiress. Being back in Atlas had to be rough on her after being disinherited from her family's company.

Walking past one of the rooms, she heard sounds coming from behind the door. Maybe some of her friends were doing something fun that she could join in on. Her hand moved to the door's handle, but Yang was stopped in her tracks when she heard a voice from inside.

 _"Harder, Jaune!"_ the voice of Weiss cried out from inside. _"Don't stop!"_

Yang almost wanted to roll her eyes. Those two were training again? Seriously, if they didn't stop spending so much time together one might get the wrong idea.

 _"Are you sure you can handle it?"_ Jaune replied, a touch of concern in his voice.

Well well well, what was this? It looked like Vomit Boy was becoming pretty confident in his newfound abilities. Maybe all this sparring with Weiss was doing him some good after all. He hit hard, that was for sure. He must have felt worried about using his full strength against someone as small and petite as Weiss.

Yang pressed her ear to the door, where she heard the faint sounds of body parts striking against one another.

 _"Yeah! Just like that, Jaune!"_ Weiss sounded satisfied with his performance at least. The boy seemed to be learning his lessons well. She didn't want him to hold back, and it appeared he wasn't.

The sound of flesh slapping against flesh sounded, and Yang winced. That sounded like it was going to leave a mark. _"How does it feel to get spanked, huh, Weiss?"_

Wow. Jaune was talking trash now? Did that mean he was actually winning? Yang hadn't heard smack talk like that since the last time she had played video games with Ruby and Uncle Qrow.

 _"Shut up,"_ Weiss panted breathlessly. Apparently she was being pushed to her limit in combat. _"And don't pull my hair so hard."_

Oh. That certainly explained it. Jaune wasn't exactly fighting fair, now was he? Part of her couldn't blame him. In life or death situations there was no such thing as fighting fair. There was no room for honor. It was kill or be killed. Biting, clawing and hair pulling was perfectly acceptable in a battle to the death. Especially against the minions of Salem.

 _"What, only you're allowed to be rough? You didn't hear me complaining while you were, and I quote, whipping me into shape."_

Yang giggled into the hand that she brought up to cover her mouth. Poor, sweet, stupid, innocent Weiss. If she realized that half the things they were saying could be misconstrued as sexual activities, she'd feel really foolish right now.

Knowing now that she had found her source of entertainment for the evening, Yang decided to continue listening in to see what other funny things that blissfully ignorant girl would say during her spar with Jaune.

The sounds of combat resumed, as did the grunting and panting from both parties involved. Jaune in particular must have taken a pretty severe hit, judging by the loud, drawn-out moan which had left his mouth. Soon enough the room on the other side went silent.

Did that mean it was over? Only one way to find out. Yang once more reached to open the door.

And was stopped when she heard Weiss speak again. _"Wow, Jaune. That was incredible."_

The girl was breathless. There was seemingly genuine shock and amazement in her voice. Jaune must have really given her a run for her money in their latest duel.

 _"Thanks. You were amazing as always."_

A soft snort of disdain erupted from the former heiress. _"Of course. Schnees excel at everything they do."_

Yang smirked. There was that typical Weiss arrogance. Still, the blonde was at a loss for who had actually won the spar. If Jaune won, it meant that he would have come an incredibly long way since Beacon. A long way since he was that scraggly little noodle boy who had thrown up on her boots all the way back before the first semester had even begun.

On the other hand, if Weiss won, that was to be expected. But at the very least it would seem that the boy had put up a strong fight. That filled Yang with hope and confidence. If he could not only master his Semblance, but become a powerhouse in combat as well, they might stand a real chance against Salem in the next phase of the war.

 _"Were you always so built?"_ Weiss wondered. _"Where have you been hiding these muscles all this time?"_

Apparently Nora hadn't been lying when she had referred to Jaune as "Mr. Muscles" back in Mistral. Even Weiss herself seemed to be impressed with his physique. She had better be careful with her words, however. If she was too loose with her tongue one might get the idea that she was into Jaune's body. And then the teasing would never cease.

 _"It came from a lot of exercise and training. Though... I think if we keep this up it'll definitely help keep me in shape."_

Yang looked down to her own body. It had been a while since she trained. Maybe she should get in on some of this action too. The last thing she wanted was to undo years of hard work by lazily sitting around another house.

Deciding that she would go in and ask if she could join in, Yang reached for the door once more.

And was once again stopped at the sound of Weiss' voice. _"You're ready to go again already?"_ she asked incredulously. _"I can't believe how much stamina you have, Jaune."_

Well, so much for that idea. Yang didn't want to interrupt their training regimen.

 _"Remember we're on borrowed time. Pretty soon we won't have time to do things like this anymore."_

Yang nodded firmly to herself. Jaune was right. With the upcoming battles there would be no time for training. They all needed to take advantage of every moment of free time they had. Weiss and Jaune had the right idea. Maybe Yang should go grab Ruby or Blake for a little late night training.

 _"I know. I'm just so sore. My body isn't used to this kind of abuse."_

Jaune and Weiss must have been giving it everything they had. Their dedication made sense after what occurred at Haven. Weiss had nearly died. Jaune, and everyone else, had nearly lost another friend. Those two would never let another tragedy happen ever again.

 _"It's worth it though, isn't it?"_

 _"It is. We wouldn't have been going at it for the past hour if it wasn't. But I just need a break to catch my breath."_ Yang could hear in Weiss' voice that she was tired. _"I mean, the mind is willing. But the body... the body needs a rest."_

 _"What's wrong, Ice Queen? Giving up so easily? Before me?"_

 _"Excuse me?"_

Uh oh. Now Jaune had done it. Yang had learned long ago to never test Weiss' resolve. To never try and show the girl up. She would move mountains to prove you wrong.

 _"You heard me,"_ Jaune continued to taunt. _"I think that I have you beaten. I think I outlasted you."_

 _"Oh that does it!"_ The indistinct sounds of rattling objects sounded from inside, followed by what was perhaps the sound of someone landing on a padded mat. _"We're not through yet, Arc. I'll make you regret that comment."_

Yang rolled her eyes. Here we go again. The sounds of labored breathing could once more be heard from inside the room as Weiss and Jaune resumed their training. The boy had poked a Lancer's nest, and now he was about to be stung.

The pained gasps coming from Jaune's mouth was enough to prove that he had teased the wrong girl. _"Ah! Not so hard, Weiss! It feels like my whole body's gonna break in half!"_

Oh she must have been letting him have it now. Maybe Weiss had been going easy on him before. Even if she had been doing so unconsciously. But now? She was going all the way.

 _"Yeah not so tough now, are you, Jaune? You can't handle it when I ride you this hard."_

Yup. Taskmaster Weiss rode everyone in Team RWBY hard when it came to their assignments back in Beacon. Apparently she was no different as a sparring partner. Yang just hoped that she wouldn't go overboard and seriously hurt the boy in her efforts to show who was better.

 _"Ah! Weiss!"_

 _"Let's see how long you last when it's this intense. When I control the pace."_

Yang could only imagine the strain her teammate was putting that poor boy through. It sounded as if he wasn't barely able to catch his breath enough to get a word out before the next gasp for air came. As much stamina and Aura as Jaune might have had, few people could keep up with Weiss when she went all out.

 _"Ow, Weiss! You bit me!"_

 _"All's fair in love and war."_

Apparently Weiss had decided to get even for Jaune's earlier hair pulling. Yang knew that Weiss Schnee always got even. No matter how long it took.

 _"Keep it up, Jaune."_ Weiss said between heavy breaths. _"I don't want you getting soft on me now."_

 _"I'd never go soft on you, Snow Angel."_

More taunting, Jaune? Really? Weiss was only going to make him pay even more for that old nickname he used to call her.

It was after about a minute more that Weiss decided to change things up in their sparring session. _"Okay, Jaune. Flip me on my back now."_

Apparently they were going to switch up to hand to hand combat now. Yang had thought that's what they had been doing all along, but it seemed as if they were indeed using their weapons before.

So did Weiss perhaps want Jaune to practice some sort of arm drag takedown on her? It would definitely be a useful technique should the boy ever become disarmed. He had the strength to excel in close quarters combat should he ever hone those skills. If he did, maybe Yang herself would take a crack at him the way Weiss was right now.

 _"Wow, it's so big in my hands,"_ Weiss gasped. _"How do you handle it so easily every day?"_

 _"Well, it is a two-hander. Even I would struggle to use it with only the one hand when it's like this."_

Yang heard Weiss giggle softly. _"And you do have a lot of experience with two-handed... swords, don't you? It really is quite remarkable how it can go from small to big in just a few seconds."_

 _"Hey, it's not that small even when it is small."_

 _"Don't be so sensitive. You know what I mean. Now hurry up and... sheathe that nice big sword of yours."_

Weiss must have been eager to get to the unarmed portion of their training. Yang was half-tempted to burst in there and make a hilarious joke about how Weiss couldn't wait to get her bare hands on Jaune. She was sure it would go straight over the girl's head.

 _"It's gonna be a pretty tight fit when it's this big,"_ Jaune told her.

Yang had seen Jaune's weapon in its new great sword form. She thought that it already incorporated the sheath into its design. Did he make a new one at some point? Maybe he was planning on training exclusively with a two-handed sword.

 _"I don't care. Just do it,"_ Weiss ordered. _"I'll help you get it in if you need it."_

There was a soft, almost pained straining coming from the girl. It must have been a tight fit indeed if Jaune and Weiss were having trouble returning his blade to its sheath.

 _"Ah!"_ Weiss gasped suddenly.

 _"I'm sorry! Are you hurt?"_

Had Weiss just cut herself from trying to shove Crocea Mors back into place? Yang hoped it wasn't too bad.

 _"No, I'm fine. Keep going."_ A moment later she breathed with satisfaction. _"See? It fits."_

 _"Just right. Like it was meant to be inside all along."_

 _"Indeed. It's a shame it took so long to find out."_

Well of course it was meant to fit inside if the sheath was designed for the sword. Honestly these two were making such a big deal out of nothing.

Seeing where the conversation had gone, and how there probably wouldn't be anything too particularly entertaining for the rest of the night, Yang gave up on them. She'd have to catch Weiss later when she would perhaps resume making her clever puns at the girl.

* * *

Every bit of Jaune was sore as he walked down the hall back toward his room. He could use a shower and a nice full night's sleep. Spending time with Weiss was exhausting. Between their training and their extracurricular activities, it was a wonder that the boy even had the strength to move.

He had almost reached his room when he saw his friend and fellow blonde standing outside her own door. Whether she was coming back from somewhere or just going out, he could not say. But her face lit up the moment she saw him approach, and her full attention was turned to him.

"Hey, what's up, Jaune?" she greeted cheerfully. She looked him head to toe, her expression changing as she did so. "Wow, you look beat. You have a nice night with Weiss?"

Jaune's mind went back to a couple days ago. Weiss had said that Yang seemed unusually obsessed with their relationship. At first he hadn't thought much of it. Maybe Weiss was imagining things. But considering she had just flat out asked about how his night with Weiss had been... what else could he do but believe it?

"Yeah, I always do."

Yang lifted a hand and pointed toward his neck. "Looks like she must have been merciless on you if those bruises are anything to go by."

 _You're the one who put half of those ideas into her head..._ Jaune's own hand drifted up to his neck where Weiss had given him an extra bit of attention. He wasn't ashamed of the hickeys, but maybe he should have used his Aura to heal them before stepping back out into public.

He chuckled nervously. "Well, you know her. She doesn't hold back in anything she does."

"So I heard," Yang agreed. "It sounded like you two were really going at it in there."

Jaune felt a chill run down his spine. "You... you heard that?"

"I heard everything," she smiled.

"And you're okay with it?" According to Weiss she was in fact very supportive of them as a couple. But he still wanted to confirm it himself just to be sure.

"Are you kidding? I haven't heard Weiss be that enthusiastic about anything since... well, ever. I don't know what happened between you two to make you reconcile. Maybe it was the whole saving her life thing back at Haven. Like you were the knight in shining armor to her princess. I dunno. But I think you're really good for her."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, hah, yeah. I'm glad you approve of us then. She told me and all, but I wasn't sure how much you actually knew about what we were doing."

"To be honest it sounded really fun. Maybe next time I can join in too. It's been a while since I've had a good hard sweat."

Jaune felt his heart skip a beat. "I'm sorry. What?"

"You know?" Yang made a pair of fists and began to lightly thrust them in the air. "My fists haven't seen any action in way too long. You, me and Weiss? It'll be fun!"

 _Fisting...?_ he thought uneasily. Jaune wasn't so sure how Weiss would feel about that. Or adding another girl to the mix period. It seemed strange that Yang was so enthusiastic about the idea. But then again Yang had been the one to suggest that Weiss use a whip in the bedroom.

Weiss. Yang. Blake loved her... novels. Nora was Nora. Were all of his friends such closet perverts? Who was next? Ruby?

Yang seemed perfectly willing to do this idea since she had suggested it. But how would Weiss react? Knowing her, she would probably shout something along the lines of, "Weiss Schnee does not share!"

Jaune turned his head, unable to look the girl in the eyes while this conversation was going on. "I dunno. You should probably ask Weiss about that directly." There was no way he was getting caught in the middle of this potentially volatile situation.

"Great! I will." Yang seemed happy with the arrangement. She looked as if she was about to enter her team's room, but stopped short before looking back. "By the way. Maybe you shouldn't rely on Weiss to make all the decisions. It might make people think that the girl has you totally whipped."

To add insult to injury, Yang mimicked the motion of cracking an invisible whip with her hand, complete with sound effects. She smiled one last time before finally opening the door and vanishing.

Another chill ran through Jaune's body. Freaks. His friends were all freaks.

And yet, he wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** This is what happens when I spend eight dull and boring hours at work the day after I posted this story. The ideas just kept flowing. Now after all this buildup, the story is set up for quite a... climax.

LaughingLefou has a theory about Schnees which I subscribe to. Beneath that cold, icy exterior, a Schnee has a heart that burns with a fiery passion beyond compare. You just have to get them going like how Qrow does with Winter. Or, like Jaune has with Weiss here.

As always, thanks for reading. I hope you liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

Part of Weiss still couldn't believe she was back here. She had worked so hard to escape. She had risked everything to defy her father. She had stowed away on an air ship and as a result was captured by bandits. All to escape this frozen tundra of a continent. All to escape the ghosts of her past.

And yet despite it all, even considering she was back in Atlas, Weiss felt on top of the world. She was surrounded by her true family - her friends. Reunited with her team, Weiss felt as though there was nothing they couldn't take on. And then there was her other friends, once just distant acquaintances. One in particular, in fact, she had once almost considered an enemy. Now, however, that boy was the closest to her of all. She had an intimate relationship with him that was even closer than that of her partner. Well, Jaune was her partner too, after all. Just in a different way than Ruby.

Her body was still sore from the previous day, but yet she could not get enough of the boy. After being filled up with his white stuff back at Haven Academy, she now regularly enjoyed being filled with his... white stuff. And that's just what she was going to do.

Slipping on her heels, Weiss looked herself over in the mirror to ensure she looked her best. Not that Jaune would ever mind if she didn't. Still, old habits die hard. She always wanted to ensure she looked as radiant and beautiful as possible, no matter the occasion.

Before she could get far, however, she was stopped by the voice of what was turning out to be her very nosy teammate. "Where are you going, Weiss?"

The girl turned to look at Yang who was lazily lying on her bed. Hopefully she wouldn't start giving her random advice again like she had been doing so for days now. "I'm going to see Jaune, of course."

A small gasp shot from the blonde's mouth, and in an instant she was sitting upright on the mattress. "Oh! Can I come?"

Weiss' turned to regard the other girl with confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah. I ran into Jaune last night after you and him were done. I didn't really mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you and him going at it last night. It sounded like you two were having a lot of fun. Lots of witty banter and all that."

A cold chill ran through Weiss' body. Yang had been... spying on them? In a moment like that?

The former heiress had long ago mastered the ability to control her expressions and reactions, and did not give away the fact that she was incredibly disturbed by Yang's admission. "I see. How much did you hear?"

Yang shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I came in somewhere in the middle. But by the time I got bored and left you two had to have been doing it for at least ten minutes."

That was disturbing to know. Back when she was still in the public eye, Weiss had had to deal with all kinds of creeps and stalkers who wanted to know more about _the_ Weiss Schnee. Whether it was from her singing performances or her role in the Schnee Dust Company, she was never short on those who wanted to get a glimpse of her in her downtime.

Who knew that Yang of all people would have turned out to be such a voyeuristic pervert?

Weiss shook her head. She was getting distracted from the real issue here. Sure, Yang had peeped on them and heard them in their private moment. But what had the girl just said moments ago?

"I see. And... you said you wanted to come?" Weiss sincerely hoped that the blonde was talking about going with her, rather than...

"Yeah. Like I said, it sounded like a lot of fun. When I asked Jaune yesterday, he seemed pretty uneasy about it. He told me to talk to you."

 _Did he now..._ Weiss suppressed the frown forming on her face and the twitch building in her eye. Did he think he could just pass off this uncomfortable conversation on her and get away with it? Did he think he could walk away unscathed after forcing this embarrassment on her? Oh that boy was in for quite a punishment later on. If he thought that the whip was bad, he was going to be severely disappointed. Gambol Shroud had a nice, strong, tight ribbon built into it that would be perfect for ensuring that he could not get away...

Weiss cleared her throat awkwardly. "May I ask what you even find appealing about such a... scenario?"

Yang looked away for a brief moment in order to collect her thoughts. Weiss hoped that she might realize just how forward her request was. Sadly, the blonde girl looked back at her shortly after with an unashamed smile. "There's so many possibilities. It can be a free for all. We can double team each other if we want to go real intense. Or just take turns and switch off whenever one of us needs a break. After all, I heard that Jaune has lots of stamina. He could probably outlast us both."

Jaune _did_ have plenty of stamina, but that was not the point! That stamina was reserved strictly for her.

"I'm sorry, Yang," she said as sincerely as possible. "However I am simply not interested in that sort of thing. I'm flattered you wish to join us, but I feel that this kind of activity is best left between just Jaune and myself."

Unlike her, Yang did not hide the emotions inside of her, and disappointment was clearly etched on her face. "What? Why not?"

Weiss couldn't believe she had to explain to Yang why she was not interested in that kind of intimate experience. "Jaune and I are committed to one another. We're not open to having other partners."

"Oh come on. You can't just keep Jaune all to yourself."

The smaller girl's hands drifted up to her hips. "Excuse me? Of course I can. What makes you think you can just have a piece of him... or me, whenever you feel like it?"

"It's called sharing, Weiss," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Sharing is caring. Back when my dad was on his team, they shared all the time. My mother, Summer, even Qrow. They all did things together, not just with their own partners."

That was information that Weiss did not need to know. She had never met Yang's father before, and sadly Summer Rose had passed away many years ago, but she did know Qrow. And to a lesser extent Raven. The idea that those four would have had that kind of a relationship with each other was surprisingly unsurprising for the Schnee.

She also knew that Ruby and Yang had different mothers. Was that perhaps a result of all their... sharing? Weiss just thanked the gods, as well as human biology, that Qrow could not become pregnant, otherwise there might have been a third sibling running around being a pest.

"Look, I know that your family might have a history of sharing... partners," Weiss said uneasily. "However, I was raised to commit to one and only one. And that's what I'm doing with Jaune."

"Well I don't know how things are in your family, but circumstances change," Yang countered. "You know that my mom left my dad and me. So in the end he had no choice but to have multiple partners in order to stay in shape."

"Maybe that's why she wound up leaving..." Weiss said under her breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Weiss shook her head. "Nothing. Forget it. I have no interest in making this any more personal than it already is."

"Fine," Yang agreed. She frowned, but soon enough was back on the offensive. "And you know, it's not like Jaune never had a partner before either. Pyrrha was his first."

Weiss felt her heart drop. A lance of pain shot through her at the mere mention of those words. "Pyrrha?" she gasped softly. "But... Jaune told me I was his first."

"Weiss, did you lose some brain cells when Cinder impaled you back at Haven?" The girl tapped her head a few times with a finger. "Maybe the oxygen got cut off to your brain while you were dying? How can you not remember Pyrrha? The P in Team JNPR?"

She remembered the girl. There was no question of that. However, Weiss had no idea that she and Jaune were more than just teammates. "So you're telling me that they had a... physical relationship?"

"Well, yeah. Remember how they'd go up to Beacon's roof every night? What do you think they were doing up there?"

Truth be told Weiss had no idea. Back then she did not have an ounce of interest in Jaune or what he did on a daily basis. However, looking back on it now, it made sense. They would have privacy on Beacon's rooftop. It was a quiet and intimate setting. Under the gaze of the stars and the moonlight, it would have been an incredibly romantic setting for such a rendezvous.

"But..." Weiss was at a loss for words.

She couldn't help but feel jealous. She had wanted to be Jaune's first, just as he was hers. But then again, it wasn't like she hadn't had her chances back then. Jaune had been interested in her since the day they met, and she had rejected him. So he had had to go and find someone else instead.

Bitter tears stung in Weiss' eyes as she was filled with regret. If only she could have seen what was inside the boy sooner. If only they had been able to share what they had now even back at Beacon. But alas, it was too late for that. All they could do now was keep moving forward.

"So as you can see, it's fine to have multiple partners. Even at the same time." Yang pointed over to Blake's empty bed. "Like, Blake's still mine no matter what. Even if I do stuff with you and Jaune, she'll always still be my first. It doesn't mean I can't have fun with you, Jaune, even Ruby if I want to."

 _Did she just say..._

Weiss bit back the urge to vomit. No. There was no way. That was wrong. So very wrong. Twisted. Yang and Ruby may have only been half sisters, but they were still blood! To have that kind of intimate relationship with a blood relative was beyond anything Weiss had ever heard before. Once more, she was at a loss for words.

But then again, maybe this kind of thing was just normal for Yang. Maybe she had been raised as such. After all, the girl had just admitted to the entirety of Team STRQ... sharing. That meant that Qrow and Raven had... shared, right? Maybe that kind of thing was just normal in the Branwen Tribe. In the Xiao-Long family.

Weiss remembered her time spent in captivity by the Branwen Tribe. If there was ever a group of unwashed, uneducated, backwater hicks, it would be the Branwens. With them being such a tight-knit and exclusive bunch, there were probably not many options when it came to relationships. So it made sense that sharing would be a normal and accepted part of their culture. Even between family members.

Still, Weiss Schnee was a _classy woman_! She did not share. Not with anyone. Jaune was hers and hers alone.

"I'm sorry," she said with an utter lack of actual apology in her voice. "I'm afraid I must decline your... generous offer. I appreciate that you find the idea of joining us to be so appealing, however I just don't feel it would be appropriate."

"Oh come on. Why not?"

"Don't you already have Blake for that sort of thing? You just said as much." Weiss was not about to dare repeat Ruby's name, however.

Truth be told Weiss would have never have suspected that Yang and Blake were an item. Blake had always seemed to be into Sun. But Yang, she had never shown interest in anyone in particular. So maybe it shouldn't have been so surprising to find out that she was into both boys and girls.

Weiss couldn't blame the girl either. She knew that she was the most beautiful girl in their circle of friends. It only made sense for Yang to be attracted to her if she was attracted to girls. She understood why the blonde was propositioning her and Jaune for a three-way.

"Yeah, well, Blake has a headache and so went off to go read where she can have some peace and quiet. The last thing she wants right now is to be on the receiving end of these fists."

Weiss' eyes widened. She briefly glanced down to the lower half of her body before looking back up to Yang. No way. There was absolutely no way she would ever agree to anything like that. She had a hard enough time fitting Jaune inside. Fists? Those were absolutely out of the question.

"The answer is still no," Weiss stated with finality. She had had enough of this awkward conversation. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be leaving. I'm late to see Jaune already as it is."

Not waiting for Yang to continue pressuring her, Weiss opened the door and left without looking back. She decided that while she may not have been Jaune's first, she could still be his best. She would rock his world this night and every other night until she was the only girl he would ever remember or need.

* * *

Yang Xiao Long was not used to taking "no" for an answer. Much like her father had once told her, she saw that the simplest way to overcoming a problem was to go straight through it. While that may not have always been the best option in a fight, it would certainly work for a stubborn girl who for some reason did not want to spar with her.

Walking down the hall to the room where she knew Weiss and Jaune would be, Yang could not help but wonder what had gotten into her teammate. What was so special about Jaune that Weiss wanted him all to herself? How had those two grown so close as of late? Was it really because of the whole life saving incident? Was there some other side of Jaune that she was not privy to, but Weiss was?

Regardless of what the answer was, Yang was not about to sit back and let that pint-sized girl dictate what Jaune could and could not do. He was his own man. He may have for some reason been afraid to disrupt his regular routine with Weiss, but if she barged in and gave the other girl no choice, then Jaune would be spared the blame. That was exactly what she planned on doing.

Not even bothering to press her ear against the door to listen this time, and not needing their permission, Yang grabbed the handle and pushed the door open. "Alright, you two. It's time to train and I'm not taking no for an an...swer..."

Upon entering the room, Yang saw that this did not appear to be a typical gym. It wasn't a gym at all. There was almost no open space for sparring. There were no mats. No weights. Nothing. It was just a bedroom. A bedroom with a bed. That made sense, but at the same time, why were they in a bedroom?

"Yang?" Weiss shrieked, her hands moving to cover up the exposed parts of her body. "What are you doing here!"

The most confusing thing, however, was not the fact that this was a bedroom. It was their clothing. Or lack thereof. As Weiss' teammate and roommate, she was used to seeing her in nothing but sky blue bra and panties. Seeing Jaune with her in a similar state of undress, clad in nothing but his boxers though... that was an entirely different story.

"What am I doing?" Yang responded. "What are _you_ doing?"

"Are you serious right now? What does it look like we're doing?"

"Uh... undressing?"

"Duh. Good job, Yang."

Well she didn't have to be rude about it. As upset as Weiss might be by her walking in on them while they were undressed, it wasn't like this was something she hadn't seen before. Except for Jaune, that was. Wow. That boy had filled out nicely. But why was he so adamant about covering up below the waist? He was still wearing boxers, after all.

"And you two are... comfortable like this?"

"Of course we are," Weiss stated matter-of-factly. "It's not like we can do this fully clothed."

Yang supposed that made sense. There was no reason for Weiss to ruin her beautiful dress or get it covered in sweat.

Jaune's hands were still covering below his waist when he chimed in. "Weiss, I thought you told her 'no'."

"I did!"

"Come on, guys," Yang practically begged. "I'm already here. I've got these sweet workout clothes on," she said pointing to the tight black shorts and yellow tank top she wore. "At least let me get one round in."

Weiss and Jaune shared a brief look before Weiss once more spoke. "Yang, I'm flattered. I really am. But a ménage à trois is something that neither of us are comfortable with."

Yang blinked. "A Menagerie what now?"

"Never mind." The girl motioned with her head to the door. "Could you please... leave?"

"Can I at least watch? Maybe you'll change your mind and let me join in when you finish."

The two teens looked at each other once more. This time it was Jaune who spoke. "I don't think she's going to leave, Weiss. What should we do?"

The other girl breathed a heavy sigh. "Well I suppose there's no harm in her just watching. I'm already wound up and ready to go, and there's no way I want to hold off until later."

Jaune put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

"I am. What about you? Will you be able to perform with an audience?"

He smiled. "You're all the inspiration I need."

Weiss smiled back at him. "You're so sweet."

The blonde girl's eyes narrowed. What in the world were those two talking about? That kind of talk was borderline romantic language if she ever heard it. They had grown way too comfortable and close recently. So much so that they didn't even understand the subtext of their words anymore. If they weren't careful someone might get the wrong idea.

"Alright. Whenever you're ready then, Weiss."

The girl sat down on the bed, her legs slightly spread as she invited Jaune over with a finger.

Jaune stepped over to the girl, and in one of his hands revealed a small square package which he tore open. The item which came out of it made Yang's heart suddenly skip a beat.

"J-Jaune?" she laughed nervously. "Y-you know what that thing is, right? You know that you don't use it to make balloon animals or anything. Right?"

He didn't respond. But now that his hands were no longer covering up below the belt, she saw the stiffness which was protruding from his boxers. Yang could only force out another uncomfortable laugh as she fell back on even more attempted humor. "Is that a longsword in your pocket, or are you just happy to..."

The joke died before it finished leaving her mouth as she realized that Jaune wasn't even wearing pants. Or anything with pockets period.

The last straw was when Jaune placed his hands on Weiss' hips and began to slide her underwear down her legs. "Jaune? Jaune!? What are you doing with her pant- oh no. Oh no..."

Yang's eyes bulged out when the realization finally hit her. Her mind went blank.

"Oh gods! I'm so sorry!"

Putting even Ruby's Semblance to shame, she had never bolted out of a room as quickly as she had right then and there.

* * *

Jaune had just about been ready to start when Yang began screaming and rushed out of the room. A blonde blur fled so fast that he did not even have time to comment before she was gone. Instead he looked down to his partner, who was also staring at the door. "Huh. She seemed really into the idea yesterday. Cold feet?"

"I'm not sure," Weiss offered. "However I'm glad she's gone. Now we can finally have some privacy."

He chuckled softly. "I'm surprised you were okay with her watching."

"She and I are used to seeing each other undressed. I think that's perhaps how and why she developed feelings for me."

"I'm glad you turned her down. You're the only one I need in my life, Weiss."

Pale blue eyes narrowed as she looked up at him. "That reminds me, Jaune. You're going to be severely punished for lying to me."

Punished. Jaune knew what that meant. He looked around nervously for any sign of Ilia's whip. Thankfully it did not appear to be present. "What did I lie about?"

"Saying I was your first. Yang told me about you and Pyrrha."

Jaune's brow furrowed in confusion at the accusation. "What? Me and Pyrrha never did anything. I don't know why Yang would tell you something like that."

She looked at him hopefully. "Really?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "One hundred percent honest. The night that Beacon fell Pyrrha did kiss me. It was my first kiss. But we never did anything else beyond that."

"Oh. Well, good." Those loving, hopeful eyes narrowed, and a mischievous smile curled on her lips. "Either way, I'm going to make sure you forget about every other girl tonight. I'll be the only one on your mind."

Weiss reached over to the small table next to the bed and pulled open the built-in drawer underneath. What she pulled out may not have been Ilia's whip, but it was another equally deadly weapon.

Jaune swallowed hard. "Does Blake know you have..." he started before shaking his head slightly. "You know what? Forget it. I know she doesn't."

"Trust me. If what Yang says is true, they're both into way weirder stuff than this. I'm sure it won't be a problem."

Maybe not for Blake. However, Jaune knew he was about to be in for a world of pain. The best kind of pain possible, that was.

Weiss pulled Gambol Shroud apart, forcing the ribbon to make a tight, snapping noise. "This is for making me worry about me not being your first."

"But I didn't do anything! That was all Yang's lies!"

"Regardless, you and I are going to have some fun. Fire up that Aura, Jaune. You're going to need it."

As Weiss began to bind Jaune's hands in the unbreakable ribbon, his mind could only utter three words.

 _Damn it, Yang!_

* * *

Ruby enjoyed not doing anything. There was nothing quite like a nice relaxing day of sitting around reading comic books. Sure, with all this free time she could have gone and asked Ozpin about the secrets of her silver eyes. He would probably know about them because he was a millennia old wizard who knew all the secrets about this war they were fighting. But she decided she would do all of that later. She probably wouldn't need that information anytime soon anyway.

As she turned the page, she was distracted by a faint and distant sound coming from outside the door. It was growing closer, and as it did, she realized it was the voice of her sister.

 _"...nope nope nope Nope Nope NOPE NOPE NOPE_ _ **NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE**_ _...!"_

The door was opened with such force that Ruby thought it might be torn clean off its hinges. Yang entered the room, immediately slamming the door shut behind her. She was visibly shaken. Out of breath. There was terror in those lilac eyes.

Ruby lowered her comic book, giving her sister a curious look. "Yang? I thought you were training with Weiss and Jaune. That was really fast."

Those panic-stricken eyes moved to regard Ruby. The intensity of the stare her sister was giving her sent chills down Ruby's spine. "Ruby. Let me make this perfectly clear. You are not allowed to train with Weiss and Jaune."

"Huh? Why not?"

"Because I'm your big sister and I said so!"

The younger girl's mind was filled with confusion. Defiance too. "Well now you have me interested. Now I wanna do it even more."

Yang's eyes flashed red. "I said never!"

A rebellious pout formed on Ruby's lips. "What are you gonna do? Stop me?"

Those eyes once more flashed, and this time remained a bloody crimson shade. "Yes. I will buy you a very specific kind of belt which will prevent you from... training with them."

The statement prompted the third, and quietest person in the room to chime in. "What's the problem with those two training?" Blake asked.

Yang turned to look at her partner. "Do you remember chapter 16 of Ninjas of Love? The mayonnaise scene?"

Blake's eyes widened, her lips parting slightly before speaking. "No..." she gasped. She then blinked a couple times. "Wait, how do _you_ know about that scene?"

"Not important! What is important is that what Weiss and Jaune were doing was at least 3.5 worse than that."

"I..." the faunus girl began before having to stop to collect her thoughts. "I'm at a loss for words. I have no words."

"I need to go take a shower now after witnessing that," Yang said as she moved toward the bathroom.

"Right. You do that." Blake looked shell-shocked as she sat on her own bed. "By the way, Ruby. Have you seen Gambol Shroud anywhere?"

Ruby stood up, and began walking toward the door. "Nope. Sorry, Blake. But I'll go ask Weiss and Jaune if they have when I see them."

"Yeah. Right. Wait, what?"

Ruby didn't respond, already having left the room. Yang had made her friend's training sound like the coolest, most forbidden thing in the world. It was only natural that she wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

Taking as big of strides as her short legs would allow, Ruby was making great time as she walked down the hall to where she knew her partner and Jaune would be. Upon reaching the door, she heard the faint sounds of exertion from behind. Cracking open the door, she took a peek inside to see what this mystery training entailed.

 _"Yes, Jaune! Pound me! Pound me harder!"_

Ruby blinked. Well. That was new.

She shut the door, and for a moment was silent. It took several seconds for her to be able to conjure up words. "Huh. They're having sex. Nice. I was always rooting for those two."

Not wanting to disturb them in their intimate moment, Ruby began walking back to her own room. "Is that what Yang was so freaked out about? Really? Sex is a natural and beautiful part of life."

Truth be told, she was happy that Weiss and Jaune were having a good time. They needed all the victories they could get at a time like this. And true love conquered all. At least that was what the fairy tales told her.

"I mean, it's just sex," Ruby continued to reason to herself. "And Yang calls me the immature one?"

Obviously Yang was the juvenile one if she couldn't handle something like that. Ruby couldn't wait to tease her childish big sister for being so freaked out by something so simple and harmless.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, there you have it. What started out as a simple, cracky one shot spiraled out of control until we finally got here.

While the title may have been "Weiss Doesn't Understand Slang", I think it's safe to say that Yang was truly the ignorant one over the course of the story. A good old bait and switch! I hope you all enjoyed it.

As always, thanks for reading.


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